S6E34: A warning against “so you’re burnt out, what can you drop?”
Full transcript:
Good morning, happy Thursday and welcome to the Language Confidence Project, the daily dose of language courage for people who love languages and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway.
And today, I wanted to talk about something that comes up a lot in conversations about overwhelm and burnout, that might not be helping us as much as we think. And that is, so often, if you mention to anyone else, or you google, that you’re burning out, the first thing the world will ask is “okay, what can you drop?”
And that is a very sensible question to ask when you feel like you’re doing too much.
But here’s the problem.
People don’t just burn out when they are doing too much work. They can also burn out when they feel like their efforts aren’t going anywhere.
There’s a quote that I love from Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy’s book Big Feelings, which says “Feeling burned out is less about overwork and more about the ineffectiveness of work. It’s not enough to take a break; you also need to examine why your subconscious thinks the effort you’re putting in isn’t worth it.” (p107-108)
Asking what you can drop is fundamentally terrible question to ask when, deep down, you feel like your work is meaningless or the vision is waning. And this is something that we as creatives, as people learning a big thing like a language, or entrepreneurs are especially prone to.
Because, well, when you can’t remember what you’re doing it all for, you can drop any and all of it, can’t you? It feels extra wounding, and it gives your inner critic the perfect opportunity to jump up and take the podium. (“If you stopped learning your language today, would the world at large be overly bothered?”) If you feel like nothing is working, nothing is paying off fast enough, then there’s no use trying to employ the Eisenhower Decision Matrix and put everything into a table of Urgent, Important, Non-urgent and Non-important because well, none of it is urgent and none of it is important.
“I could drop 100% of what is burning me out: I could just not learn the language. Not write the book. I could not start the business.”
But that isn’t what you need. This thing matters. This thing is what lights you up and even if the returns are in the future, this thing is going to pay off. This thing is going to make an impact, on your own life, on the world.
When our passion work is burning is out, what we need is a different question entirely.
How can we make this feel meaningful again?
What quick wins could we go after?
How can we help you to feel appreciated again?
How can we make the vision come to life again?
Because this isn’t about doing too many hours. It’s about making it feel worthwhile again.
Best of luck today, language learners, keep going, keep showing up, and keep trusting that this is going to pay off. You’re doing amazing work.
Have a wonderful day, and I will see you tomorrow.