S6E10: Help, it’s so hard to settle in here!
Full transcript:
Good morning, happy Friday and welcome to the Language Confidence Project, the daily dose of language courage for people who love languages and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway. And just a reminder that the Language Confidence Project is now on YouTube as well, with more daily videos of encouragement and also my actual face. All this week, in a series called Help, I crash landed in Language World!, we’ve been looking at what to expect in your first few weeks and months as a language learner, and today, we’re rounding it off with a look at the inevitable fatigue that comes with diving headfirst into a new world of knowledge. So if you bounced your way into language world super excited and raring to go, but it’s all starting to wear a bit thin and the frustrations are mounting, this is the episode for you.
You’ve crash landed in language world. And it’s all so cool. It feels like such an adventure. The culture is so cultury. The people seem amazing, the way of life, just, makes sense and this realm has solved so many of the problems that you experience back home. There’s just so much to explore here, so much potential for you here, and you, you think it’s the best place ever.
But then, before long, you start to notice how things are different now from what you’re used to, and not always in a good way. It goes from being novel, to just, unfamiliar. All of a sudden, you realise everything needs figuring out. Everything, the way you dress, the way you work, the way you make arrangements to meet people, the food you eat, the way you pay your bills, make appointments, it’s all new.
And getting lost doesn’t feel so exhilarating any more. You just feel, well, lost. The curiosity about this brand new culture, gives way to shame about the cultural faux pas you keep making. And the excitement and curiosity of the constant problem-solving becomes annoyance that you can never just do stuff. You’re walking into uncomfortable or inconvenient situations over and over again, and it is a lot to take. You miss normality.
That, that is culture shock.
It’s a lot like the intermediate plateau, isn’t it? Or the messy middle?
The same thing happens when enter into a new knowledge community, like a language, even if you never plan to live there in your life, like entrepreneurship, like doing a degree. And the more intensely you throw yourself all in, the more pronounced the culture shock is likely to be. It’s normal to miss just knowing instinctively how everything works. It’s normal to miss feeling effortlessly competent like you are in your normal zones of genius, and to just wish that things were done a different way here, more like they’re done at home.
And whether you’re actually moving to a new country, or you’re swimming around in language world, the practical ways to make it easier on yourself are the same.
1) Claim your space
When you’re actually moving to another country, you take things that remind you of home, right? Photos, your favourite things, the things that are going to anchor you to who you are, even in an environment where everything else has changed. And the same thing goes for knowledge communities.
2) Keep exploring
In whatever ways that feels comfortable or right for you. Keep saying yes, keep looking for adventures, keep meeting people, and make sure that you keep seeing stumbling blocks for what they are, little obstacles to be jumped over and navigated, rather than walls coming up to block you into a smaller and smaller space. Keep your thinking expansive, and don’t lose sight of the possibilities that this new community offers for you.
3) Find things to get excited about
If you’re in a new country and you love a thing, whether it’s yoga, stargazing, dance, whatever, find people there that do it and love it too. And if you’re coming into a new knowledge community, the same applies! And it’s so easy to do that for a new language most of the time, but even in anything else. Offering, sharing and nurturing your old skills in your new world is an amazing way to feel like a whole person in this place too. Find opportunities to let the two worlds collide.
4) Give yourself a project or a purpose
People say that there are four stages to culture shock: the honeymoon period, negotiation, (that’s the really frustrating stage we’re just talking about now), and then things start to curve upwards again. The third stage is called adjustment. It’s where you simultaneously give in and surrender to the surreal reality of your new life, and you start to get your bearings. You’re acclimatising. You’re learning the skills you need. You’re doing fewer things for the first time. You have a proper routine again. You know people and you know systems. When things do go wrong, it’s easier to cope with them.
And the fourth, is called adaptation or acceptance. It’s the cultural equivalent of bilingualism, you feel at home in both places, and you have roots here. And that will happen for you too, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Bit by bit, more things will start to make sense, more things will become second nature, and more things will be genuinely easy for you. It’s not all going to be unfamiliar forever, I promise. Just stick with it, be kind to yourself, and it will start to fall into place!
Have a wonderful weekend, don’t forget to check out my YouTube for more daily language courage, and I will see you on Monday!